You know those moments when you're scrolling on social media or you're in a conversation and you just see or you hear something so positive, so grand. Something that has to do with someone else's success to the point where it's slightly, maybe even more than slightly, triggers the feeling of being behind. The thought of feeling like you are not caught up. You're not where you should be, you can't get ahead, and you just seem to be in this constant cycle of feeling behind it is not a good feeling, right? It makes you feel. Not good enough. It makes you unintentionally feed into the negativity of what you are not, what your life is not, and therefore feeling this depletion depression, insecurity, and that deep, dark hole starts to feel more and more difficult to crawl out of. That is why we're talking about it today, that feeling of being behind and why it seems like everyone else is winning in or at something except for you. I have personally had these moments of feeling behind way more than I can count, and I'm an extremely sensitive person, so anytime I feel a negative thought or a negative depletion overwhelms my heart. I don't just feel that. I unintentionally become that feeling and it's something that I've been working on more and more the older that I get. But I know I'm not the only one. I have had conversations with people at conferences where it's not that I am jealous of their accomplishments, it's just that little voice that says, wow, look at all that they're achieving. What about me? I have worked at jobs where our customers were highly effective. Highly successful people, people that were younger than me, and here I am serving them through my job and thinking, wow, look at them. What about me? And then of course. Scrolling on social media and coming across a post from someone you admire, someone you respect, seeing a successful moment, how much money they made, where they're traveling to, their incredible family, seeing the success, admiring their accomplishment, celebrating that for them. But yet that nagging voice comes again, saying, what about me? Why am I so behind? Why is everyone winning but me? When is it going to be my turn? Let me just start off by saying it's okay to normalize this very real thought of being behind. Everyone feels that at some point in their own life journey. Even the most successful people that you see, that you admire at some point, and even currently, they look at someone else who's more quote unquote successful than them, and they think, why does it seem like I'm behind? The person that you feel is quote unquote ahead of you, that person has someone in their mind that they feel like is quote unquote ahead of them. And the cycle repeats like a domino effect over and over. And here's the thing about all of us that feel that. Moment of I am so behind. Why am I not winning? Here's a very real fact. You feeling like everyone is winning, but you is just an illusion. It is not truth. A lot of times when we get so emotional about something, especially when that emotion translates into us being upset with ourselves, us feeling negatively about our own selves or our own journey, when that happens, we tend to see our own emotions as truth when many times it's not. And if you're a very sensitive person like me, if you are a natural empath, it is difficult to detach from the emotions that you think is truth. When an actuality there is a actual truth, there's an actual reality to what is going on. And believing that everyone is winning except for you is one of those situations. It's just an illusion. Let me tell you why. A lot of what you are seeing or hearing from people in regards to their success and their accomplishments in what's going right in their life is that truth for them. Sure. However, you have to think that that truth of theirs, that accomplishment, that success did not come without moments of them feeling behind. They have also felt behind in their journey at some point too. In addition to that, a lot of what you're seeing on social media when you scroll or hearing in a conversation that has to do with someone else's success, you have to remember that they are just highlighting the good stuff in the conversation. In a post they are showing you or telling you what. They want you to see. And oftentimes when people are posting on social media or expressing their success and how much money they made, their family this traveling, this accomplishment, or even in a conversation, when those topics are being brought up, you have to remember that they are speaking the highlights of their life, the best parts of their life. Goals achieved of their life. What they're not talking about in that specific post or in that exact conversation that you're having with them is the low stuff, the goals that were not achieved, the rough roadblocks that they had to bust their butt to overcome. They're not highlighting or talking about in that poster or in that exact conversation, the negative stuff, the trauma, the circumstances, the extremely difficult things to navigate. They aren't highlighting that in that poster or conversation. What they're highlighting is the good, successful accomplishing moments. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that when we see those posts or when we're in a conversation like that, our emotions start to get triggered where we're asking ourselves, what about me? Why am I behind? How are they achieving all these good things? And I'm not, you are believing that they are winning and you are not because of what they are choosing to tell you, what they're choosing to reveal to you. That person has an entire life of feelings and emotions and roadblocks mental battles, spiritual battles of their own that they are going through. That is the reality that you need to see as truth. We have to get out of the habit of comparing our lives and our winds to the winds of other people because all that does is skyrocket our doubt. And minimize our confidence. So the next time you see a post or you're in a conversation where that person is talking about something that they were successful in, you need to literally tell your brain. This is just someone who's highlighting a good moment. This person is also human who probably goes through their own set of circumstances, their own feelings of them not feeling good enough too, or them feeling behind in X, Y, Z too. You know what? Let me celebrate their win. I am focused on my own journey. That is what we need to start to tell our minds in order to see that as truth, rather than attaching so heavily to our emotions. That many times is not truth. Now I wanna talk about that term behind being, behind feeling like you're behind. I wanna talk about what that really means. The idea of behind is invisible timelines and expectations that you put on yourself. Seriously. Pause for a minute and ask yourself, who told me that I had to achieve this thing within this timeline? Who said that I needed to do that? You, 99% of the time it was you. Where you thought you would be by now, by this age, by this stage of your life. You set that timeline, you set that expectation, and what's so funny is that. We forget that God works outside of our timelines and our expectations over our own selves. He does not fit within your box of when things should be completed, when things should be accomplished, when you should reach a specific destination. He will not fit in your box because he knows you. He knows your entire life, your entire future. He knows the timeline of things that are meant destined to happen for you when God needs them to, not when you want them to. Now you might be thinking, well, angel. Why isn't God speeding up my timeline? If he sped up that person's timeline for them to accomplish this, or to have this successful business, or to launch that amazing thing, why not me? Why does my timing seem so delayed? Let me be real with you. I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. Only God does. God knows why certain things may feel. Delayed to you, but in actuality, they're not. They are in his perfect timing. Sometimes God will delay things or accelerate things depending on where he needs you to be, what he wants to teach you, where he wants to strengthen you, where he might want to test you, how he wants to grow you. Only God knows that. And you being in close relationship with him, trusting his timeline over your life rather than your own is the only way for you to come to the understanding of why God has certain things working within specific timelines of your entire life. And a lot of times we don't realize that until we finally reached that timeline and we've accomplished that thing, and we look back and we say, wow, I get it. I see why it wasn't then that that thing happened, but it had to be now instead. And there are moments where we never know the answer. But let me ask you this, do you need to know in order to trust God with your life? Do you need all the clarity in the world in order to tell God, in order to trust God's plan for you? Oftentimes we have to do that heart check because we could say with our words, no, I don't need to have all the knowledge and all the wisdom, and have all the clarity in order to trust God, but our actions speak differently. The way that we emotionally react to things says differently, and it really makes us think about where is our trust with God really, especially when it comes to that feeling of being behind. Your timing is not supposed to look like everyone else's. Everyone has a unique path. Everyone has different seasons. God laid out a mission differently for every single person on this planet. You seeking a win in the same timeline as someone else's win is you lusting after their path, their season, and their timing rather than stewarding your own path. It's not supposed to be like theirs. It's supposed to be different. The question is, will you trust that? Now, here's the thing. Many times we believe that the solution to feeling behind is catching up. Let's hurry. Let's hustle. Because hey, we got a goal to reach in a specific timeline that my friend is far from the solution. Rushing. Your quote unquote, success can lead to burnout so much to the point where you end up giving up, you're not consistent, you're not obedient. You're no longer dedicated because you burned yourself out too much to the point where your mind and body can't even deal with it anymore. Instead of the solution to feeling behind being, let me rush, let me catch up. Let me put in blood, sweat, and tears every single day. To make this happen, you need to shift to simply building over time. Literally think about construction workers building a building. They don't do that in a day. It takes time and it doesn't start with them actually putting the pieces and the blocks together, the cement together or whatever they're using to build the thing. They're not even using their physical hands yet. You know, where they start their minds. Writing the construction down on paper. I'm probably not even using the right language, but you get what I'm saying. They have to map it out first. They have to plan it out first. They gather resources first, and then they build. And even as they build it is all about progression. It takes time in order for what it is that they're building to actually be a physical building it's the same thing for you. Give yourself grace and patience to simply build. Rather than a toxic, unhealthy mindset to hustle. Now, let me be clear. This is not to confuse it with laziness, okay? You cannot tell me that, oh, well, my timing is all in God's hands and I'm just in the waiting season and it is what it is. So I'm just gonna wait my friend. If you are unintentionally or intentionally doing that, then you are one of the reasons why you are actually behind, because you're not moving. I always say that when it comes to taking steps forward, it really is a partnership with God. You have to move, you should put in effort, you should put in faith. You should be consistent. You should be obedient in doing what God is calling you to do. But it's how you go about it, how you're consistent, how you're obedient, how you're putting in effort. You wanna do it in a healthy way. In a balanced way, in a way where you are building gradually over time rather than rushing, hustling your way through it, and you end up giving up in the process Because what you were trying to build just burnt you out. So I'm sure, or at least I hope, what I've been saying so far has been motivating for you and encouraging. But how do we actually go about this? How do we change our perspective around that feeling of being behind? And how do we learn to quote, win or quote unquote succeed or accomplish at our own pace? In the timing that God has for us. The first thing that I wanna say, and you've heard this before, but I need to emphasize it in this episode, you need to redefine what success looks like for you. Let me just be blunt. Success, 99% of us relate to money. We believe that once we reach a certain financial goal, we are therefore successful. We have therefore reached this goal and because money can control so many things. Once we have money, then we can do these other things. Then we'll have the time to focus on our health. Then we will have the money to actually travel. Then we can buy that house, then we can get outta debt. We so often. See money as our ultimate solution. Now I say we, because I still struggle with that. I am working on that daily. Having financial goals is good. Wanting to reach wealth, there's nothing wrong with that. It's about your heart's position in it. And if you are seeing money, finances, wealth. As your success and only your success, then you will find yourself in a cycle of never being satisfied, ever, because I'm gonna tell you right now, once you get to that six figure goal that you set, I promise you when you're there, you're gonna be reaching for more. Then once you hit seven figures, I promise, when you're there, you're gonna be reaching for more. There's this inability to ever be satisfied in regards to money that will come. And the reason for that is because God did not build you to be satisfied with money. He built you to be satisfied in him. matter where you're at financially, you are joyful, you are at peace, you are satisfied in him. And even then. We will never be fully satisfied on this earth during our time here in this world because our spirits are not meant to live here. Our spirits are meant to be with God and when we are, that is the ultimate fulfillment, the ultimate satisfaction. Broaden your mind when you think of success. Think outside of money. View success as that one task you got done. View success as you finally getting up and going to the gym to start taking better care of your health. That's success. View success as the fact that you've been doing a better job at intentionally reaching out to family and friends and just being a good villager to the village that you have. Success can mean so many things. And when we widen our definition of success, we have more moments where we feel like we are winning, we are succeeding. And that brings me to my next point. And how to win at your own pace, within your own timing, scale back your destination. A lot of times we're waiting until we reach a specific destination to feel this way, to be this way, being able to do this once we get there. And many times those destinations are like these huge milestones that are multiple steps away. What would it look like to scale back our destinations? What if your destination was tomorrow instead of a year from now? When you ideally want to be making six figures in your business, what if instead you set a destination for tomorrow? What does tomorrow's destination look like? I believe that us scaling back our destinations can help us see our wins. It can help us appreciate what we've been able to work through day by day, and celebrating that, being joyful in that, trusting God in that, and being extremely aware of the blessing of seeing another day. Valuing another day, getting things done in another day, being with God another day on this earth. My next point in regards to this focus on progress over perfection with your words. We get so caught up in our mind and our thoughts that we don't value or leverage the power of the tongue enough. In a good way. The tongue can be powerful negatively, or it could be powerful positively. You get to decide. What's been helping me take myself out of my crazy, chaotic thoughts that oftentimes are striving for me to be perfect and getting down on myself when something isn't perfect or something wasn't achieved I am trying to do a better job at verbally speaking my progress using the power of my tongue. I'm gonna give you an example. There are things right now that I am working on when it comes to my reactions and responses to things. Like I said, I am an extremely sensitive person, so when I react or respond to things, a lot of times I'm reacting with my emotions and I have a really hard time managing that. I'm working on it. So with me being more self-aware and working through that healing. I notice that because I also struggle with perfectionism. If I don't react to something in a more improved way, then I will get so upset with myself. My mind will start saying, Ugh, angel, you did it wrong again. You said it wrong again. Angel, you know better now. What is wrong with you? Why can't you just get it right? So when I notice my mind starts to do that, then I start speaking and I literally talk to myself. Angel, great job. You were self-aware in how you could have responded better. In that moment, and that is progress. Great job. You are on the right path. Keep pushing forward. You can do this rather than feeding into, oh, I just can't believe I didn't say that right. Oh, I should have known, oh, I told myself I'd work on this. Why can't I get it right? Instead of all the cans, all the knots, focusing more on, wow, I did that really well. Wow. Okay. Slight progress there, angel. Great job. That means in the next conversation in the next thing that happens where you are being triggered to emotionally react or emotionally respond, you'll do better. Great job. You're making progress. There's a difference there. And when you do that. You start to practice the habit of speaking your small wins, and as you get into that habit of speaking your small wins, you start to believe it more and more. Now, that brings me to my last point, speaking of habits. Use your habits to help fuel your consistency, winning at your own pace in God's timeline for you. As I mentioned before, it's not just about waiting on God, it's also about your effort. When it comes to effort, consistency has a lot to do with that. So how can you build certain habits to fuel, to bring the fire, to motivate you to stay consistent? And the best way to do that is to remember and reflect on how good those habits make you feel. If you get into the habit of working out consistently throughout the week and you know that it makes you feel good, you know, and you can feel that your body is becoming healthier, stronger, more energized, more focused, you can feel the effects of that, then that should fuel your ability and desire to want to stay consistent in working out. If you know that building the habit of working a few hours on your business or your project, or your book or what God is calling you to do, you've scheduled it out in your calendar to make sure that specific time blocks during each day or four days outta the week, you are gonna work on this. You building that habit. And you see the effects of that because now you just landed that client, you just finished two chapters. Wow. You were able to open up that door, that person emailed you, and an opportunity came. It fuels you to want to be consistent because you're seeing the effects of that. You're seeing doors open because of the habits that you built. Build the habits. Get consistent. Now, my friend. Just a final word of encouragement before we wrap up today. I need this to be drilled into your beautiful mind. You are not late. You are simply being led. I know it feels like you're behind. I know it feels like you've been delaying your successes because of X, Y, Z. Maybe you're blaming yourself, maybe you're blaming other people or previous circumstances that felt like they held you back. I understand, but I need you to remember that God works everything together for your good. If something happened unexpectedly, a circumstance, a person, or even your own previous habits held you back from accomplishing or from winning, God can take that and he can work it all together for your good. He wants to lead you. You're not late. Let God lead you. Put in the habits and the consistency. Appreciate your path. Appreciate every small win steward your lane rather than lusting after everyone else's. And you, my friend, will notice that you no longer view people around you as winning and you're not, instead. They have won in their lane and you are winning in your lane, in your own way, in your own timing. The small wins matter, the big ones matter and everything in between. A change of perspective, man, it can go a long way. Thanks so much for tuning in. Send this episode to a friend that you feel has been talking to you lately about being behind, feeling delayed, feeling late. Send this their way, and I pray that it is a gift to them and encouraging them that they're gonna be more than okay. And hey, I got a freebie before you, before you go. If you are looking for mindset help when it comes to the entrepreneurial journey that God might be calling you to and even wanting to figure out your next steps when it comes to marketing and monetizing what God might be calling you to do, you can head down below in the podcast show notes where you're listening, or in the YouTube description where you are watching to grab my free three day course called the Burnout Free Business. This is a course that's teaching you how to amplify what God is calling you to do in business with your mind and with your money strategies his way. And in a way that does not jeopardize your mental health, it does not trigger hustle, but instead, amplifies your steadiness and your confidence to do this thing. I know you can do it, and I want you to believe in the God that lives in you enough that he can work in you and through you so that you believe that you can do it. Too much love, friend. We'll see you next week.